SafeR Space

In the events I organize and the spaces I maintain, I aim to ensure that everyone feels as comfortable and safe as possible. However, I am aware that no space can ever be completely “safe.” My aim is therefore to strike a balance between a good level of safety—through clear agreements, rules of conduct, safe words, theoretical input, consent tools, and other arrangements—and a freedom that enables and requires personal responsibility.

I do not consider my spaces to be “safe,” but rather consciously designed spaces in which people can show, express, and experience themselves with as much safety, respect, and self-determination as possible. For me, “safer” instead of “safe” means that absolute safety can never be guaranteed—but I actively work to promote mindful, consensual, and discrimination-sensitive interaction.

At the same time, it is important to me to prevent false expectations: the idea that it is possible to create a space in which everyone feels equally “safe” is a fallacy. We do not live in a vacuum—every person brings their own experiences, influences, and boundaries with them, just as everyone else present does.

In my workshops, I want to work together with participants to create a culture of consent that has an impact beyond the moment—and carries over into everyday life.

Brave Space

The Brave Space concept recognizes that the spaces I create require a certain amount of courage. They can cause discomfort, be challenging, and triggering.

My goal is to open up space for these challenges and hold them together with the group.

You don’t always have to feel “good” to participate. Difficult moments and challenging feelings are allowed to have space and be felt.

They are not only permitted, but understood as part of a genuine, lively exchange.

The Brave Space is an invitation to engage with potentially difficult topics—at your own pace, when you are ready, and when you feel like it.

I use the 3-zone model as a guide: comfort zone – learning zone – panic zone. I invite participants to leave their comfort zone and enter the learning zone. I aim to avoid the panic zone with the help of the safeR space concept.

Supportive Space - Not Therapy

My workshops are supportive spaces—supportive environments in which we aim to interact with one another in a mindful, respectful, and appreciative way. For me, a supportive space means a framework in which people feel seen, heard, and welcome; a space where different experiences have room, and where we support one another in our individual processes without judging or providing therapy.

Even though I have experience and qualifications in holding groups and working with sensitive topics, I do not take on a therapeutic role in my workshops, as I do not have specific therapeutic training. You are welcome to bring your topics, experiences, or personal stories, and we will listen with care. If you wish, I may offer an impulse or a recommendation.

My events therefore do not replace therapy. If you are currently working intensively with topics related to intimacy, trauma, or personal boundaries, my workshops may (not yet) be the right setting for you. In this case, individual support—such as trauma-sensitive therapy, sexological bodywork, or other forms of psychosocial one-on-one support—may be better suited to support you in a focused way and at your own pace.

Please feel free to write to me if you are unsure whether participating in my events is right for you. I am happy to explore this together with you.

Confidentiality

In order to protect the safer space, the container that we open together, confidentiality is a central element for me.

Everything that is shared, experienced, or spoken within this framework stays within it.

This means in concrete terms: please do not talk outside the workshop about personal content or experiences that others have shared here—even if anonymized or meant well.

It is especially important not to pass on names, stories, or details of other participants when speaking about your own experience. Tell your own story—not the stories of others. Only in this way can we create a space in which everyone can feel safe enough to be vulnerable, to open up, and to be authentic.

Consent

Consent = Sensing Together

The Latin origin of the word consent is especially revealing: it means “to sense together.”

Checking in with one another

Consent is more than saying “yes” once. What we want depends on many factors and can change over time.

That is why it is important to keep checking in with one another continuously and to adjust what is happening if needed.

When we are fully present and mindful, it becomes increasingly unlikely that we will cross boundaries unconsciously—our own or those of another person.

Does consent always have to be enthusiastic?

Not necessarily. Consent is often more nuanced—sometimes we want to try something even if we are not 100% sure.

In my workshops, I emphasize again and again that it is okay to feel neutral toward a situation. What matters is making a conscious choice rather than “enduring” something.

This shows that consent is more than just saying “yes” or “no”—it is about being consciously aware of and sensing both oneself and the other person. This approach includes both verbal and non-verbal consent.

Embodied consent

Consent also has an embodied dimension: our bodies are constantly sending signals that tell us something about our emotional state and our boundaries. Do we feel relaxed and open, or is our whole body tense? The more consciously we pay attention to these signals, the better we can recognize whether we are acting in alignment with our boundaries—or crossing them.

queer

Welcome Queers

How do we make our workshops more queer-inclusive?

I want to explicitly state that my workshops are queer-friendly. I don't just assume that queer people feel included by default. In a world that is often designed for the normative majority, queer people still too often feel overlooked, excluded, or misunderstood. I want to change that.

That is why I consciously design the space in a way that is welcoming, safer, and respectful for queer people as well.

We speak openly about pronouns, use language mindfully, choose gender-neutral terms, and create space for diverse experiences and perspectives.

No one should have to hide—here, you are welcome to be yourself.

If you wish, you can share your pronouns during the opening round. I make an effort not to assume genders, relationships, or sexualities—instead, I ask and listen.

My invitation is addressed to all people—of all colors, kinks, bodies, identities, and forms of desire.

At the same time, I am aware that I also have blind spots and I'm always open to feedback in order to make our spaces even more queer-inclusive and mindful. We want to learn and grow together and to create spaces that do not merely tolerate difference, but actively invite it.

You are welcome—just as you are.

Awareness of Power dynamics

I am aware that power and role dynamics arise in every one of my events. I invite you to be mindful of these dynamics and not to idealize me as a workshop facilitator. In the workshop, I show only a narrow slice of myself—not inauthentic, but professional and in a role necessary to hold the space well. Even though I take responsibility for the structure and safety of the space, I am not “above” the participants; I am part of a shared learning process.

If you observe behaviors that do not align with my values, please do not hesitate to bring them to my attention.

Here is a helpful resource to assess whether workshop facilitators are acting ethically:Consent, Power and Abuse von Wilrieke Sophia & Rupert James Alison.

Accountability &
Learning from Mistakes

I will make mistakes. And so will you. What matters is how we deal with them.

Let's commit to naming harm when it occurs, taking responsibility, and learning from it. I invite you to hold me accountable—just as I will do with you: with compassion and clarity.

For me, accountability means:

Taking responsibility for my own actions—even (and especially) when mistakes happen.
Reflecting on my behavior and taking its impact on others seriously.
Being open to feedback, critique, or the naming of harm.
Acknowledging harm when necessary, apologizing, and taking concrete steps to repair it.
Honoring agreements and standing by how I choose to behave in the shared space.

If something happens, you can reach out to me directly or—if you prefer—to a neutral third person. I create structures in which critique, feedback, and the naming of difficult situations are welcome and received with care and respect.

Red Flags and behavior I Don't tolerate

I aim to stand for a culture of learning from mistakes and taking responsibility. This means that I name mistakes, learn from them, and aim to grow through them. At the same time, I clearly name my red flags—behaviors that I do not tolerate at my events and that will result in immediate consequences.

My red flags are:

Racism
Sexism
Homophobia
Transphobia
Ableism
The active and deliberate violation of clearly stated boundaries
Not adhering to the code of conduct, which is discussed together at the beginning of each event and agreed to by all participants
Discrimination in any form
Bullying
Fascist statements or fascist behavior

I create a space in which respect and mindfulness form the foundation, and I act consistently against anything that violates these core values.