Frequently asked Questions:
Who else will be there?
We organize by age group, so you won't feel like an outlier. You'll look around and think, "These are my people." There will be mainly singles; the occasional poly couple might join. Everyone who is there is there to date.
What if I'm not attracted to anyone?
Attraction is very subjective. Maybe you'll find many people attractive, maybe no one, we doubt it, but who knows. We invite you to stay open and curious. The goal here is to meet new people and practice being real, not get married. You might be surprised by who catches your attention once you're actually present with them.
What is the gender ratio?
Such a classic question! And one that is usually asked by men for some reason! While we don’t guarantee a perfect 1 to 1 gender ratio, for one because in our eyes, gender isn’t binary and because our events are about connection first and foremost. So even if you are sure you won’t end up dating the person you are doing an exercise with, the interaction itself might be interesting and valuable regardless!
How many people will be there?
Usually we have between 25 to 40 people at these events.
What will the room feel like?
Good question! We always aim to create a space that feels intimate, with quiet background music at a low volume that creates a calm and pleasant atmosphere.
When should I arrive?
It can be a good idea to arrive a little early so your initial nervousness can settle a bit before we start. You can arrive up to 30 minutes early to land in the space, there's no rushing.
Will there be eye contact and physical closeness?
Yes, there will be some eye contact in the exercises. But you always have the opportunity to close your eyes, look away, or skip an exercise entirely. You're always in control. Some exercises involve touch, and we really value consent, everyone is encouraged to respect each other's boundaries. You can always opt out.
What's the overall vibe?
It will feel like a playful and quite relaxed hangout, not a clinical workshop or awkward speed dating event.
What if I don't like an exercise?
You can easily opt out. Always. We have an observation space where you can simply observe, which can in itself be a lovely and quite cute experience.
What if I feel awkward, anxious, or emotional during an exercise?
Getting nervous, anxious, or emotional during an exercise is totally fine. We are an emotionally inclusive space, so whatever comes up is welcome. By the end of the night, people are quite comfortable around each other and brave.
What should I wear?
As many of the exercises involve some movement, it's good to wear something you can easily move in, we will be sitting on (soft) floors. At the same time, this is a dating event. Dress nicely. Wear something that makes you feel comfortable, confident, and attractive.
A side note on perfume: Many people are quite sensitive to smell, so we invite you to go easy on perfume ect. give people a chance to smell what you smell like! Pheromone matching is a thing! ;)
What if I want to connect with someone after?
At the end of the event you will have the chance to express interest to the people you felt a connection with. This is your opportunity to exchange numbers or social media. We facilitate this part, but we leave it up to you to approach the people you like. In our experience, by this point people are quite comfortable around each other and brave!
How is Softer Dating different from other dating events?
Most dating events are about efficiency, meet as many people as possible in limited time. Softer Dating is different. We slow down. Way down.
While there will be some conversation, there is much more space to slow down and connect with the body and more subtle emotions. We focus on sensing, playing, moving, you'll notice someone's presence, the small details of how they move, the sound of their voice, the energy between you. You'll feel things in your body you might miss across a coffee table.
This is what makes Softer Dating different: we're not conducting interviews. We're actually being with each other in a different way. We connect through presence, embodiment, and play. That's where the real connection happens!
Any more questions? Send us a mail at softerdating@gmail.com